Millennial Life

Dear Shuman – Real Answers from a Real Man

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It’s that time again, where we get to tap into the mind of a guy, Mr. Andy Shuman, by asking him all of our curious questions. You know, the ones girls have, but can’t really ask a guy because, it would be awkward. Here’s a few that VIRTVE has come up with, but if you have some questions for our guy Shu, don’t be shy, leave them in the comment’s section. And if you are shy, you can always email us anonymously at VIRTVEmag at gmail dot com.

1. On a Friday night, do guys prefer to hit up the girl you are interested in first, or are you waiting on the first text message?

I love it when a girl hits me up first … a girl that I’m into, at least. That just confirms that she’s into me too. That being said, most of the time, unless you’ve gone on a couple dates, it’s hard to think that a girl will make the first move. If she does, she’s either really cool, or she’s really clingy. There’s a line between really cool and really clingy so don’t always be the first to hit them up. Now, where it can get tricky is if you don’t know if the other person is interested in you. At that point, you just go with your gut and make the move. If I’m interested, I’ll hit her up first to show that I’m interested, but I won’t make it that obvious. In short, my preference would be that we equally hit each other up first. And when I go first, I ask her to go somewhere that I’ve never been to get a drink. At that point, if she’s interested, then she’ll come. Of course she will. 

2. How important is it for a girl you are into to have a clean apartment? Like, how clean does it need to be until you lose interest?

A clean apartment is always better than a dirty ass apartment. There’s a fine line between disgusting and dirty, but neither are really great – unless you want to attract a dirty ass guy. It’s sexy when a girl is clean and ladylike. It shows that she can be a keeper; and maybe if you’re lucky, she’ll keep your shit clean too. There’s definitely another side to that characteristic, though – being TOO clean. It’s good to see some people’s true colors with a little random clutter. A girl that is too clean is definitely one of those type A’s that if you come home drunk with your boys and leave some beer cans out, will get pissed in the morning. No guy wants that. If it’s early in the dating/relationship, it’s definitely a plus to have a clean place – let’s call it “picked up”. An apartment that is picked up and tidy is great. If I walk in and it’s really cluttered and messy, I could get over that for one night. If I come back for date two and it’s just as messy, I’d start to lose interest. However, if it’s spotless on the first date, I’d wonder why it’s so clean. What happened in here last night to make you have to clean the SHIT out of your place – is it always this clean? I wouldn’t let that ruin a good night, but if it stayed that way, I’d start to question my decision. 

3. Do you frown down upon girls that give it up on the first date? 

As a man, you never frown down upon a girl that will give it up, especially is she’s hot. The key word in that is “date”. If it’s just a random hook up and I’m doing the same thing, then there’s no frowning allowed from either party. But if it’s a true date, then it definitely depends on how the date goes. If it’s going really well, I’d be surprised if she didn’t give it up, but if she didn’t I’d think that was cool, and I’d definitely want to go on another date if I’m actually into her. If I’m not that interested and she gives it up, I’d be down, but would try and treat her as a friend with bennies. If she doesn’t give it up on the first date but you talk about it, she’s cool and that’s good shit – keep dating. If she doesn’t give it up and there’s no tension at all, then get out early. If she does give it up, re-evaluate after the sex – hormones can do crazy things to a man. All in all, no I don’t frown down upon that. No guy goes to their homies and says “Damn bruh I’m not sure about this one, she gave it up on the first date.”

You can keep up with Andy and all of his … adventures … on Instagram and Twitter @shuboyy and on Snapchat @shuboy. 

Always in search of worldly knowledge and broader understandings, Kaitlyn has been freelancing while traveling since 2015. She's passionate about digital content, being environmentally friendly, and surfing. 16+ countries and counting.